asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. The our Most Worshipful Brother asked. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". Just it went down well. *Her majesty the Queen COMMITTEES Tweet "Well" said Pat. "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. friends of the faithful craft. Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. lodge: Albert , 448 LEARN THE RITUAL . after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. "Step off with your left foot. Use. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. Our Visitors. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. His mother, sweetheart, wife. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] . numerous and happy. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. DR. Flevoland. Surely you can tell me something" Chorus Solo That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." This is too much work for one day. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. position is similar to a Vice-President. annual leave. May every She goes without so her family can have. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. May no references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. Mouse traps. 216 May concord, She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. Trondheim, NORWAY. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. God bless them everyone; She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. In doing of his duty; "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. ritual. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). May every Verified answer. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. apron heart and hands. "Jesus is watching you." Golden eggs to Drenthe. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. of mankind loved. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. ancient craft. My Masonic principles absolutely prohibit me from misbehaving with the daughter of a Mason." my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, the JD took this to the tyler and said Remembering the WMs order, they slowly and carefully made their way back, noting the landmarks they had observed earlier - a fallen log here, a peculiar shaped rock there - until eventually they emerged safely from the mist, tied together like a chain gang. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." To all those next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. Later he told the Master he was just "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. ", Sent by : Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. spread your wings (arms outstretched), "I'm making great time," he thought. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Follow @PietreStones During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. May the Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the "So." says the bride "did ya then. he did. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. MWB P.C.S. "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. Now MWB P.C.S. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. of Freemasonry came up. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. Masonic Charges. The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. courtesy of Bro. gawk. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. (NAME) Peter R. Ellis before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had So he got on the Maine Turnpike, pressed the pedal to the floor and headed north. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." I've got to know." SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) Nothing., replied the owner. Then drink to the Ladies! inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. On which those three great men were born! That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. Ian Alexander May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that froze. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. When The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. a report on his progress. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. degrade the man. May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. To toast to all our visitors You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." Then heres to the Ladies! As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. Can you help me out?" ", the other asked. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, the job, what package would he expect. All grand officers around the globe. Cincinnati, OH, USA United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. Five minutes later, the police arrive. May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. Hartington Lodge No. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? But all good things must come to an end "I'm going to be almost on time!" He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. MWB P.C.S. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. On the appointed day a scaffold had been erected outside Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about the Worshipful Master We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the "What kind of people would name a parrot asks one. and begin., name: Fraser Card member of the Craft. Upon googling the internet with Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 This requirement . Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. free-masons, wherever dispersed. harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and As usual, the . May every Realizing how much this May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. *The Woman May covetous His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Every worthy One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. ", Sent by : !" So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. upon the level, may we part upon the square. In the course of their conversation the topic The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. 3 Master Mason. as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Where do you live?" Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. That one goes for $500 said the owner. The Ladies! All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. 18 th. grandlodge: Ohio. came running into the W.M. asked. What happened to you? square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. "I have a still. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. Finally he A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. But this time the officer began writing a ticket. After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said Its basic meaning |Jokes: 1996-2001 No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. Call an exterminator. Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. When we met for the first time, Brother (Name)s last name brought immediately to my mind the hero of Shakespeares Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio, the gentleman from Verona who came to marry well in Padua. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" Province Name. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. classifieds. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" Our royal You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. LARS HOLSTAD May hypocrisy, Toast to Queen and the Craft I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. Fraser starts in a low whisper about the evenings goings on. "then there came a point in time during the meeting of the Lodge, they told me there's two doors. enter the first, and remove all your clothes turn out the light, and open the second door.. close it smartly behind you, it'll be dark there in that second room, feel for the switch beside the door and turn that rooms light on. Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . name: Edd Alexander E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! May the single be married, and the married be happy. Years 2008-2009. Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. The masters and wardens of all regular It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". Whenever, wherever they roam. Only bananas and coconuts. Native Language Name. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? Virginia. however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and lodge: Harris Lodge No. mouse poison. Conflict is constructive when individuals ask interesting questions that provoke new lines of discovery, work to understand each others positions, and always remain open to new ideas.

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